Decisiones

I feel horrible.  Eusebio and I had planned for him to go to Mexico the end of August.  He had made a promise that he would be there for the one year anniversary of his father’s death.  I was so happy for him to finally be able to keep this promise.  I found out yesterday that due to the timing of submitting paperwork, etc. to the National Visa Center his appointment probably won’t be until beginning of November.  Basically we have two options.  He can stay here in Minnesota until it’s closer to the appointment date or he could still leave when we were planning, end of August.  I feel horrible because I know it’s a hard decision for him to make.  I know that he really wants to go and see his family, especially on this specific occasion.  I feel like I am being selfish by asking him to stay here.  I haven’t asked him yet.  I want him to make this decision, and I will support him either way.  I need my husband here with me, and Liliana needs her father too.  This way to, we would be able to save up more money, and not be under so much pressure for him to leave in a hurry.  Also, I don’t have any more vacation time that I can take this year, and wouldn’t be able to visit until probably next February for Liliana’s third birthday.  We are hoping to get her baptized when we go down to visit.  Well, I just wanted to vent a little, and express my concern about Eusebio leaving sooner than I’d like. I love him to death, and I don’t want to be away from him longer than I need to be.  It is already unfortunate that we have to go through this process in the first place.

Spanish - English

Decisiones - Decisions

Heart Shaped

I’ve always wanted to be a Mom. However, I was told that without medication it would be virtually impossible for me to have children. When I was 21 I went to the ER for kidney stones, and after a CAT scan they explained that I also have a bicornuate uterus. Basically that is a uterus with two horns shaped like a heart or a fissure down the middle so that if you do get pregnant the baby grows on one side. Having a bicornuate uterus also makes it difficult to get pregnant.

When I got pregnant with Liliana, it was a milagro. I didn’t see her coming at all. I had just started dating Eusebio and things were going so good between us I was almost afraid to tell him. I had gone to the doctor after I had two positive pregnancy tests and explained to them about my uterus. I was told I had to have an ultrasound, and I was anxious to see the baby and see the uterus and everything even if I was only a couple weeks pregnant. Lili was a dot on the screen, but I was still so in awe of how I was finally able to have a child. Dr. Weber, however, the doctor from el infierno decided to shoot down my hopes and dreams telling me that- “Well, if the baby survives, it will probably be born severely premature, and you will probably be stuck on bed rest the majority of your pregnancy.”

I left the doctors office crying my eyes out. I had just received the best and worst news of my life, practically at the same time. I called Sasha on my way home asking her how on earth I was going to tell my Mom or Eusebio and it was just horrible. When I got home, I was still bawling my eyes out not knowing what to do, and my Mom walked in. I cried the story to her.

As we all know, Liliana was born healthy, and at her seven pounds 15.5 ounces was of normal weight and everything. Meeting Eusebio, and having Lili was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. They are my life. I would do anything for either of them.

I would love to give Lili a baby brother or sister. Now that she is two, I have been thinking for the past few months about having another baby. Eusebio wants to have another child as well, but he doesn’t want to plan it out or get his hopes up, which I can understand. I just really don’t want Lili to be an only child. Knowing that I have these problems with infertility makes me really nervous to think about this. I’ve been seeing a doctor and when the time is right we will be taking medication to help me get pregnant. Hopefully we won’t have any problems! Please pray for us..

Spanish to English

Milagro - Miracle

El Infierno - Hell

A Nice Conversation

So I talked to my Dad last Sunday night. I don’t want to say everything we talked about, but we had a very nice conversation. He is living in Salmon, ID. It sounds like he is happy there; however the economy isn’t doing very well. We talked about the last time we saw each other and how, I guess without realizing it, I was kind of cold towards him. I didn’t mean to be. It was probably my age or the rebellion stage of adolescence. I guess he took that and assumed I didn’t want to really have anything to do with him. I can understand that.

He asked about my Mom. It’s was weird to me, to hear my Dad talk about my Mom. I am pretty sure my Mom really loved my Dad at one time. Hearing my Dad talk about my Mom makes me think he felt the same about her. This made me happy. Probably because I am a little piece of these two people. A symbol of their love, you might say. It’s nice to know that you are a symbol of love, and not of something else… like two broken marriages or something.

All in all, I enjoyed talking to him very much. I even find myself looking at the world a little differently- like I have someone out there that thinks about me… that cares about me, even. Before, that part of my life was just a closed door.

It sounds like my Dad lives an interesting life. He likes to fish, and collects fish. I guess he has quite the collection of aquariums at his home. He lives in a small town in Idaho. I am sure the mountains are nearby. I am going to call him next week. I don’t want this to be the end of our relationship.

I am very thankful that God has given us this opportunity to reconnect. Con Dios, todo es posible.

Spanish - English

Con Dios, todo es posible - With God, anything is possible.